Why I ask so many questions

I know that filling out a screening applincation form can at times feel like an interrogation before you have even met me. Some may even find that appealing, but there is a valid reason why I ask so many questions.

I'm not trying to make the process difficult, and I certainly dont want you to give me an answer you think, i want. I infact want to get to know the individual person, behind the screening application form. What has brought you to me in particular, what is is you are hoping to explore and experience, and if we are going to be a suitable match for an hour or more.

Obviously, your interets and limits you list, will tell me something about you, but they do not tell me everything I need to know. Two screening forms are recieved with the exact same information, same interests, same limits, same dates, yet the individuals both expect a different eperience.

One might have years of experience and know exactly what they need and require, while the other one is new to BDSM and has only just discovered kink, still trying to work out thier own interests and limits. That is normal and completely acceptable to me. You do not need to arrive knowing everything. Honestly nor do I.

I know what I like, I know how I work, I know I have experience in some things, yet to learn other things and I know that every person is different. What I don't know, is what is going on in someone else's mind until I have actually cmmunicated with them.

I read all recieved screening applications properly, rather than just looking for a list of interests. I look at if and how you've answerd the questions, whether you've taken the time toread what I am asking of you, and whether you are actually communicating with me or simply filling out a form on a screen.

At the same time, I am getting an idea of your personality and attitude toward a professional Dominatrix. Someone who is open and honest about being inexperienced is much more useful to me than a person claiming an impressive list of interests and negleted to list limit, boundaries or not really answered anything at all.

Something else I feel should be spoken about here is the idea of a professional Dominatrix seen on social media. Social media is great. I use it, you use it, we all use it. I generall enjoy it, and of course, it's a great way to meet new people and find each other, but it's not the whole picutre and not everything you see on your screen should be automatically, be taken as reality.

Photographs are chosen wisely, captions are written with intention and videos are edited. you only get to see what others have chosen to show you, not necessairly what actually happens before, during or after the moment.

There seems to be a general idea that a professional Domme simply does as she pleases as soon as a sumissive, sissy, etc., walks through the dungeon doors, with no further communication or boundaries in place. That is a fantasy. Not how I approach a professional session anyway.

A huge amount of my work, and what actually makes a session work, happens away from social media and away from the eyes of others in general. It happens when I read your screening application, when we communicate to discuss your appication, and what it is you're looking for, your level of expereince, and any questions you may have for me beforehand. It happens long before a session even begins.

Communication doesn't stop once the session or online training begins. If anything, it becomes more important. Submission doesn'tmaen you lose all ability to communicate with me and it definately doesn't mean I can suddenly read your mind.

If at any time you're unsure about something, tell me. If I am challenging you, but you are comfortable to continue, I need to understand that too. There is a huge difference between being challenged within an agreed dynamic and something being genuinely not being okay. Communication is how we know and understand the difference between the two.

Boundries are always in place. They don't disappear because you have chosen to submit to me rather than have a kinky session. Boundaries are discussed, understood, and respected. That is something that is agreed and happens between us both privately, rather than something that needs to be displayed on social media for all to see.

The same principal applies when a session has ended. What happens afterwards is something that I think is often overlooked when people talk about professional domination online. A session doesn't necessarily end the second you leave my dungeon. Aftercare and checking in with you can be eqally as important, especially after and intense experience. Again, that's part of the responsability that comes with taking control of someone else. It's not just about what happens in the moment.

That's one of the reasons I do not work from a script. I don't want to look at an application list and picking a few activities to do, just becausesomeone has tiked a box on a form listed as an interest. I actually want to understand the individual person I'm dealing with. Sometimes someone thinks they know what they want, but after having a conversation with me, they realise they are willing to try other things too.Other times someone is completely new to the BDSM scene and does not yet know their full interests, limits or boundaries. Neither situation bother me. t's good to talk. What does matter, and is important, is honesty.

Ultimately, that's why I ask so many questions, I'm not looking for the perfect application, and I don't expect you to know everything or even what you want. I'm purley trying to understand the person behind the form and work out whether I can provide the service and experience you are looking for. The screening process is simply where that communication begins.

The communication then continues through converstations, the session or online training itself, and when appropriate, afterwards. For me, that is all part of keepin things professional and safe. The control may be mine during the dynamic, but the trust and commincation that makes it possible, has to come from us both. Perhaps that part is something not shown or seen enough on social media.

You get to see the finished photgraph, watch the editied video, admire the confident Dominatrix, and veiw the equipment inside my dungeon. What you don't see is everything that happend before, during and after that moment in time to make it possible for you.

That for me, is almost the most important part.

Madame Lockwood